Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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