Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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