Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
