I can tuck mytits in my pants
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
