ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize