He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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