So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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