Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
So gin and wine won't be happening again
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
