she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just pee around me
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
