i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
