Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
