we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
ok first of all what the fuck
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
