Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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