so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
