She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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