just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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