The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize