my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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