Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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