Well apparently he's into motor boating.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
