hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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