I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
