Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
