Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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