She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
