definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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