Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
