She said her name was "party"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
don't judge my taste in strippers
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
