THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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