Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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