no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize