btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
