Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
