Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize