this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
