What a fucking waste of an outfit
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
