I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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