I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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