no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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