TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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