Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
