So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize