The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
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The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
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This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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