i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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