apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
