Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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