Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
