the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
