Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
