What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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