i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
