He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize