I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
