hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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