dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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