There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
it glows. i had to have it.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
