I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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