id be glad to
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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