last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize