i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
