absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
