I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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