Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
