got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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