I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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