Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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